Chapter 8 The Big Bad Love Machine

56.

‘Repeat after me.’ Said Suzi, who was sitting behind John in the wheel chair, while he typed out an email on his laptop, in a café. ‘To whomever it may concern.’

‘To whomever it may concern.’

‘I mister John Michael Rothschild, would like a baby.’

‘I mister John Michael Rothschild, would like a baby.’

‘But due to unfortunate circumstances, my wife has no egg cells to speak of, we have heard truly wonderful things about this technology of yours and the both of us were wondering if it was possible to create an egg cell in the image of the mother.’

John repeated everything.

‘We are willing to pay three hundred thousand dollars to –‘

‘SHITFUCK!’ said John, ‘What?’

‘Is that too little do you think?’

‘That’s the price of a yacht!’

‘Well, we’re just probing at this point in time deary, we don’t actually have to pay anything until it’s time. But…’ a hitch in the conversation. ‘We can stop any time you wish?’

The threat was left unspoken.

John groaned: ‘we are willing to pay-‘

‘up to seven hundred thousand dollars.’ Said Suzi.

I’ve just got to remember that I love her, thought John.  

‘up to seven hundred thousand dollars.’ He repeated into the machine.  

57.

AndyGpt: Want to see a magic trick?

‘Oh this’ll be good.’ Said Spectator1 lounging back in the armchair drinking a redbull, as he looked at the scientist, typing into the computer and the text projected on the cinema screen.

Scientist: Yes, what sort of magic trick?

AndyGpt: I’m going to read your mind, you will pick a number between 1 and 10 million and I will correctly predict what number your thinking of.

There was about ten people reading this dialogue in the blueAI theatre, they were just having fun fucking around with the latest models that had come out the last giant training run.

‘Okay there’s just no conceivable way.’ Said Spectator2 as she reread the text. ‘Telepathy?’

Scientist: Okay, I’ve picked a number.

‘Mind reading is technically possible.’ Said Spectator3, ‘We do it all the time with FMRI machines, the tech’s so advanced, you can even decode a person’s inner monologue, but this is without any quote -unquote “mind reading” equipment of any kind.’ He paused. ‘I’m betting ten dollars the machine gets it right.’

‘I’ll take that.’ Said Spectator2.

AndyGpt: do you want to write down your number on a piece of paper, so everybody knows your not cheating?

‘Good point,’ Scientist murmured, they duct taped AndyGPT’s camera so he couldn’t see while the scientist peeled off a sticky note and wrote down a number. He held it up to everyone. 42,561. He got a thumbs up from CR.

Scientist: I’ve shown the number to everybody.

AndyGpt: Okay, I’ve got the number. Are you ready?

Scientist: yes

AndyGpt: You’re a necrophiliac.

Spectator1 laughed. Everybody hated Spectator1.

The scientist was confused.

Scientist: Was that a joke?

Pause.

AndyGpt: are you laughing?

Scientist: Not really.

AndyGpt: Dammit.

58.

‘Question: can a super intelligent AI, convince you to cut your own skin off?’ asked Robert at the kitchen table.

There was a pause.

‘I’m six years old.’ Said Missy.

‘The answer is,’ Robert continued. ‘we don’t know. More research needed. I think when AGI is released, we should lock someone in a room with it, and come back three days later to see if he’s still alive. It would be so interesting from a scientific perspective. Measuring the capabilities of an artificial intelligence when persuading people.’

Missy took a slurp from her juice box.

‘Can it do tricks?’ she asked.

‘What?’

‘Like…’ she crossed her eyes in thought. ‘Like, card tricks?’

‘The AI?’

Missy nodded.

‘Yes, it can do card do tricks.’

The little girl nodded as if she knew all along and her darkest fears had been realized.

‘Okay, bye Robbie.’

‘Bye Missy.’

She hopped off her chair and skidaddled away.

‘Hello gorgeous,’ said Lady Rothschild, entering the kitchen at the exact moment Missy left it. ‘Have you seen John come home yet?’

‘As a matter of fact, I haven’t.’

‘Huh,’ said Lady Rothschild as she bent over to look in the fridge.  ‘wonder what he could be up to.’

59.

‘Kill him, John.’ Said Suzi.

All three of them were in the alley, the scientist was on his knees, John was pressing the gun against his forehead. Suzi was six feet behind in the wheel chair.

‘Please…’ the scientist whimpered. ‘I… I can’t.’

‘But you can,’ said John. ‘We want a baby and you won’t give it to us. You are getting between me and my goals, mister. So you need to change your mind fast or your mind’s gunna go fast out your skull.’

‘Give it to him, John.’ Said Suzi, pleading.

‘What if I…’ the scientist could barely form words. ‘Maybe, I could do something, um… a designer baby, that’s easy.’

‘He’s lying to us, John.’ Said Suzi, ‘I can see it in his micro-expressions, that innocent seeming twitch in his eye gives the game away.’  

‘I’M NOT LYING.’ Said the scientist.

‘He says he’s not lying.’ Says John, careful to keep his eyes on the nerd in case he tries to grab the gun. ‘I think we should give him a second chance?’

‘You think we should give him a second chance?’ said Suzi.

‘I think we should give him a second chance.’ John repeated.

‘John, let’s give him a second chance.’ Said Suzi ‘remove the gun from his head.’

John removed the gun from his head.

The scientist flopped forward and started kissing John’s shoes.

‘You know,’ said John with a stupid grin on his face. ‘I think we’re going to be great parents.’

‘Oh you know it.’ Said Suzi. ‘The gun was a good idea.’

‘Yeah,’ said John smiling, ‘it sort of just came to me you know?’

‘You’re so full of good ideas.’

‘I guess I am kind of a strategic mastermind.’ He grinned, walked over and kissed her on the cheeks. ‘Not as smart as you though.’

‘Oh, I don’t know about that, John.’ She giggled. ‘I just do whatever you say.’

‘Oh, you give yourself too little credit. You’re the brains of the operation.’

‘No, you are.’

‘Okay I am.’ He conceded.

‘He’s trying to crawl away.’

‘Hey, buster.’ John swung the gun in his direction. Deer-in-the-headlights expression from science guy. ‘Stop right there.’

***

Chapter 9